Lachrymose
by Evanescent Dementia
Summary: The only sound on the battlefield was the awful cackling of a madmankillertraitorMURDERER. They watched their hero fall, broken. He had foughtcriedfelldied for them, and all they had left to give him was revenge. AU.
1. When

Ichigo felt desperation overwhelm him. He hacked and slashed at the Hollows around him. He was good, he knew that, but even he was breaking under the sheer numbers of the enemy.

Little black soldiers all in neat rows.

We had gathered for the final battle, so assured that we would win, lined up in neat rows, waiting. Ichigo could remember questioning this strategy, better to hit and run, he thought. But the higher-ups had assured him, it would be a slaughtering of their enemies. Soul Society would win and beat back the Hollow invaders.

Just as they had every time.

Yet all the other times only a few Hollow had fought. This time it was thousands, millions of Hollows, of all ranks, gathered and ready.

It was a slaughtering, but not the way the ranked officers thought it would be. Ichigo had watched as Shinigami and Hollow alike fell, and piled up until they were climbing over piles of bodies to continue to clash. It went on for hours/days/months. It was impossible to tell what time it was, if you got distracted, you died.

Ichigo was sure he would remember this day/night for the rest of his life. However long that was.

Little black soldiers, lined up to die.

At one point he found himself back to back with Byakuya, who was bleeding from multiple wounds. They fought together for a while, clearing a space around them before they were separated by the tide of battle. Ichigo's Shihakusho was ripped and drenched in blood. The blood of Hollows, his own, and the Shinigami who had fought near him.

Little black soldiers, fighting to survive.

Ichigo had learned to suppress his hero instinct in this battle. In this battle it was not practical to race off to swoop in to save someone. He _could not_ abandon his place in line. He had to hold his position to give the healers a chance to help the wounded.

Every one in a while, when he would start to be overwhelmed, he let loose with a Getsuga Tensho to give himself a bit of space. He had to keep Zangetsu in his regular, knife-like state to conserve energy. There were enemies all around, in front of him, above him; there was also the possibility of tunneling hollow, according to a division of Shinigami that had fallen victim.

Little black soldiers, torn and bloody.

Ichigo saw a girl near him, looking so much like Yuzu, get swallowed up by a frog-like Hollow and screamed out his frustration at not being able to help any of his friends or allies. Not being able to know if they were alive, wounded, or even-. No, he had to concentrate.

He heard an unearthly roar, and glanced up to see the Vaizards killing flying Hollow, keeping them from getting near a transparent orange barrier that must have been created by Hachi.

Ichigo turned his attention back to the fight just in time to block a claw from impaling him.

Where were the Espada?

Surely they would want a part in this. Ichigo could sense them, barely, hovering at the edge of his awareness. Ichigo let loose another Getsuuga Tensho, and found himself next to Renji.

"Hey, Kurosaki, when this is all over, how about we go get some Sake?" the redhead was trying to bring forth some of their usual banter, but Ichigo could hear the strain in his voice.

"I'm underage Renjii." He growled out, slicing Hollow in half, spraying himself with blood. He was beginning to think that some alcohol would be good right about now. Maybe it would help him forget what he had seen today.

"That's too bad. I guess I'll just have to drink some for you then." Ichigo let out a burst of laughter, that definitely was not hysterical. Renji grinned over at him and was about to continue when a Menos Grande screamed and let loose with a Cero, frying Shinigami and Hollow alike. The two boys looked up to see a line of five of the beasts coming towards them, with more emerging from a hole in the sky.

"Hold my spot for awhile, alright, Kurosaki?" Renji said, and knowing the answer, quickly released into Bankai and used Shunpo to confront the colossal monsters. His sword made quick work of them and he moved on to the ones leaving the gaping wound in the sky.

That was all I saw before I was pulled back into the battle. I tried my best to cover both my own area and Renji's but it was inevitable that some slipped through. I tried to make sure that only the weakest ones made it past me.

Renji didn't come back.

I tried not to think about it, not let it distract me. I tried to tell myself that he was just helping someone else that he was still fighting elsewhere. Tried to ignore the fact that I could no longer detect his spirit pressure.

Little black soldiers, stand or die.

Various attacks whizzed by. I saw the two different sets of blue arrows that marked the Ishidas. They had come, recognizing the fact that if Soul Society fell, the human world was next.

I had seen one or two of Hana's blasts light the sky in red as his sword expelled energy.

Razor sharp petals had raced past me, enveloping me in a rush of sparkling pink, drawing not a drop of my blood, and hit an incoming hollow, tearing it to shreds, and then moving on to the next.

I had heard Ikkaku's battle-crazed voice screaming out the word, "LUCKY!" and had seen him plowing through Hollow like a bulldozer.

The hollow around me had shattered into chunks of ice once, clearing a wide strip of ground, though I could not tell if it was Rukia or Toushiro who had created it.

Kenpachi's mad cackles and crushing reiatsu had erupted a bit farther off and had seen the bodies fly into the air.

The tide was turning, the Hollows were beginning to thin out, Ichigo let his Shoulders sag as he relaxed the tense muscles there, relieved.


	2. The

_Like lambs to slaughter: the wolves are laughing._

"Bankai!" I screamed as the espada fell upon us, my sword became lighter as I felt Zangetsu's hands on my shoulders, taking my energy and filling me with his own.

"Grimmjow Jaggerjack was the first to meet my blade, his hair lengthened and claws extended his release form charged towards me. He grinned savagely in his mad dash towards me, taunting me to get angry.

The days killings had drained my anger, leaving me…empty. Hollow.

I must have smiled at the irony because Grimmjow grew enraged and flew at me with renewed vigor.

I looked up to see Aizen and Gin standing upon air, staring over at another party of two.

Yamamoto-sotaicho was standing, unmoving, as his fuku-taicho pleaded with him to intervene.

Why wasn't he releasing? Why did he not join us in our struggle? We could still win this, if only he would help us.

The fight had moved itself to the Rukongai, the shabby houses broke under eventhe weakest of attacks, and the denizens scattered, screaming as they went. Evading Grimmjow for a moment I scooped up two little girls as they ran past, holding them in the arm unoccupied by my sword.

"Hold on!" I yelled to them as Grimmjow came at me. I shun-poed away and deposited them with the medics. I had retrieved several other children and done the same with them before Grimmjow found me again. As we fought he grew increasingly vicious.

We separated and I had a chance to catch my breath.

Soifon, her fuku-taicho and Hachi were fighting against some sort of creature that looked like a horror movie rendition of the Grim Reaper. Hitsugaya was combining forces with Ikkaku to fight an arrancar woman. Their battles seemed to be going well.

It was time to end mine.

"Eyes on me!" Grimmjow charged again and I flash-stepped behind him, Zangetsu running him through with a sickening squelch. I briefly wondered how long that sound and image would haunt my dreams.

I did not know if I'd killed him for good but at the moment I could not bring myself to care, even though my black blade was coated in blood as red as my own.

_Like lambs to slaughter: the tide is turning._

I found myself presented with the pale half-helmeted arrancar. I just barely dodged his claw-tipped hand as he reached for my chest.

The next few moments were spent with him attacking and my dodging. Zangetsu's hands tightened on my shoulders.

"We cannot do this forever, Ichigo." He said in his simple way.

"I know!" I spat the words, my breath coming in short gasps.

"Stop your cowering and fight!"

So I did.

I grounded myself as well as I could, being twenty feet in the air, and blocked his attack, my sword slicing his hand. I could feel the hollow stirring, the beast emerging from the depths of my consciousness. I slammed him down, focusing on control.

_Like lambs to slaughter: the beast is stirring._

"Call the mask Ichigo." Zangetsu said calmly.

"I cannot control it!" I cried out, fighting down the darkness again.

"Then don't, become on with him, work together to defeat your enemy." I trusted Zangetsu with my life, my very soul. So I called out the mask.

The world always seemed darker through the slits of my hollow masks. The arrancar's eyes widened fractionally.

_Like lambs to slaughter: blood is spilling._

This opponent was much stronger than Grimmjow, requiring all my concentration just to stay alive.

I fired a Getsuga Tensho at him but he dodged and instead it cleaved several Hollow in half.

I could feel our energy waning, the first wave of Hollow having drained my reservoir. It became harder to focus, harder to raise my sword.

Then I heard the screaming.

The Arrancar I was fighting was holding a little girl, with light brown hair and dark brown eyes.

She looked so much like my Yuzu that I flew into a rage.

The Arrancar didn't know what hit him. Couldn't know how it would affect me.

His body hit the ground in pieces, smoking slightly.

How many have I killed now?

_Like Lambs to slaughter: Clock is ticking._

I held the little girl as she cried, trying to calm myself. It wasn't her, it wasn't my sister. My sister was safely home, safely ignorant.

I never saw it coming.

Then the fire engulfed me, the little girl shrieking as she burned, but I couldn't help her, couldn't help myself, my sword and hollow yelled with me as everything dissolved into flames. My every nerve burned and burned and _why wouldn't it end?_ I felt my body as it slowly died.

Then it stopped, and I was left standing in the air, alone, the girl long dead.

_Like lambs to slaughter: my world burning._

Every single being present watched as the substitute Shinigami burned. The Shinigami cried in horror as the boy plummeted to the ground, Aizen's horrible cackling laugh echoing over the battlefield.

"ICHIGO!" Rukia screamed, her grief cutting off the horrible laughing, she raced towards his falling body. Byakuya, in a rare moment of kindness, intercepted her and buried her face in his robes. Ichigo's body hit the ground with the sound of the bones breaking resounding throughout the battlefield. Sobs wracked Rukia's small frame as her tears soaked his captain's haori.

For a moment the only sound was Rukia's wails. It seemed that not a single intake of air was made from the slaughter ground's inhabitants. This moment was as still as the fallen hero's heart as his death was registered. Then Reiatsu and killing intent radiated off of every shinigami and Vaizard.

Everyone had caught their second wind.

_Like lambs to slaughter: the pendulum swinging._


	3. Dust

**Now, I know I need to update Watching Over You (Don't kill me rachel please) but I have yet to track down the note book that has it all written out. I've tried to freehand write it again but I just end up shredding it all in a rage. There really is nothing like highschool math/spanish to induce the plot bunnies. and now without those bunny-filled notes I am lost in fail. So, I have decided to update this story. I know it's short, bear with me, this was just the perfect place to stop. The next bit should be out soon, I just need to fine tune it, and get all my facts straight. (Once again, Rachel, please don't Kill me)**

"Death is strange." Ichigo decided as he stared at the empty void around him.

The abyss was dark and somehow light at the same time, cold but warm as well. He couldn't decide if you liked it or not.

"Hello?" He shouted into the abyss only for his words to echo back at him eerily. "Is anyone there?"

_Human? Shinigami? Hollow?_

'WhichoneWhichone'

~Killed so many~

-Rightous Cause-

**HollowHollowHollow**

Many voices talking at once, sounding like skin on silk, thunder in a dark canyon, waterfalls, a whisper of true love beneath the willow. Hurts, Hurts, Hurts.

_What are you? What What?_

'He is dead! He lives!'

~Dead~

**If it lives kill it! Kill it! Eat it!**

~Unnatural~

-Savior-

_**-~'What to do?'~-**_

The voices talked slow and fast all at once, making his brain feel like it was meling then reforming again.

-Was human-

~Is Shinigami~

**It is HOLLOW! Kill it! KillitKillitBurnitinHELL!**

He got that they were arguing, trying to decide what to do with him.

-He is human. His soul needs rest.- That voice sounded kind, a mothers touch on fevered brow, whispered love and children singing.

~Shinigami, Move on. New life.~That one sounded like a warrior, baying hounds, pounding drums, dying screams, and cannon fire.

**KILL IT! BURN IT! EAT IT!** This voice was the worst. It was insane, a strange giggle. It sounded like mothers smothering children, a mental patient rocking back and forth, the sick squelch of knife in fleshfleshflesh.

Why was he here? Who were these voices and what did they want from him? Where was his dad, his sisters? What about his friends? Chado, Keigo, Mizuro, Michiru, Orihime, Uryu…Rukia, Renji, Ikkakku, Kenpahi, Yachiru, Uruahar, Yoruichi?

Why wasn't he where they were?

"_Ichigo!"_

It was something to do with fire.

"_Ichigo!"_

There was a little girl.(Yuzu?) No not Yuzu. Still important.

"_Why? Why?"_

He had saved her. (No, not really)

"_Don't go! ICHIGO!"_

Fire. Burning, blistering, blazing, billowing **fire!**

"_Come back!"_

~He struggles~

**Killithurrybeforeitescapes**

-What compels you little one?-

"They're crying. I can't make Karin and Yuzu cry anymore."

~Let him go.~

-Let him go-

**KILLIT!**

_**-~'So Be It.'~-**_

**_~.~.~.~.~_**

**_So, yes. If you guess what's going to happen and review about it I'll love you forever._**

**_There is a disturbingly large spider that's stationed itself right outside my window. _**

**_It's staring at me I just know it._**

**_Well, I hope you enjoyed the story so far, I take all kinds of review: praise, flame, constructive critisism._**

**_Feel free to babble in my direction. I WELCOME YOUR BABBLE!1!_**


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